Not Like Dad
by Donny304
Summary: Brian DiMiranda is a skateboarder and doesn't play any sports. David Baker Jake's son. plays football and hates skateboarding. Brian goes through the day wishing Jake was his dad and David goes through the day wishing Vinny was his dad. Read and Review.
1. Mornings At The DiMiranda Household

This fan fic is about Brian DiMiranda and David Baker (Jake's son.) and how different they are from their fathers. David plays organized sports and hates skateboarding. While Brian skateboards and doesn't play any sports like Vinny's other sons Danny and Matt. My eighth Vinny and Lorraine installment.

What everyone is doing.

Bakers

Tom and Kate: Retired and still live across the street from Vinny and Lorraine.

Nora and Bud : Still live in Houston. Their son Tom is 19 and plays linebacker for Ohio State. He has short brown hair. They also have a daughter named Nicole who is 9 who has long brown hair.

Charlie and Ann: Still live near Lake Winnetka with two kids of their own. Named Charlie Jr. age 10 and Brendan age 7. They both have black hair.

Henry: Lives in New Orleans and plays in a jazz band.

Sarah: A Sergeant in the Chicago Police Department. Lives next door to Vinny and Lorraine.

Jake: Owns a skateboard shop that Vinny bought for him because Jake kept on bothering him to get more stuff to do with skateboarding. Is divorced for two years now. Has a son named David who is ten. David has short black hair. Jake lives next door to Vinny and Lorraine on the opposite side.

Mark: A Biology teacher at Lakeside High School.

Kim: Married to Naval officier Robert Tablione. Lives in Florida and works for NASA.

Jessica: Married to Air Force pilot Eric Mattersen. Also lives in Florida and works for NASA. Has one kid. Eric Jr. age 6. Eric Jr has blonde hair like his dad.

Mike: Lives in LA and is a professional stuntman.

Nigel and Kyle: Are professional wrestlers and travel the world getting paid to beat each other up. We all know wrestling is fake at times.

DiMirandas

Vinny and Lorraine: Vinny still ownes DiMiranda Sporting Goods. Lorraine is a stay at home mom. They have five kids. Danny and Kate who are twins and are 16. Danny is an outstanding football playing. Kate is just like Lorraine and is a girly girl. Danny and Kate both have blonde hair like Lorraine. Danny has short blonde hair while Kate has long blonde hair. Brian who is 14 is a skateboarder and doesn't play any sports. He has black hair like Vinny but it's long like Jake's hair. Marie is 11 and has long blonde hair like Lorraine and is sometimes a girly girl and sometimes a Tomboy. And Matt is 8 and has short black hair like Vinny. Matt plays football and baseball. He's also somewhat of a daredevil like Mike. He doesn't rappell from the roof like Mike but does alot of crazy things. Like hang from the bannister and cause trouble at times.

Chapter 1: Mornings At The DiMiranda Household

Vinny is getting the kids up for school. And is now at Brian's room.

"Brain get up!" Vinny told him as he walked in.

"I'm up dad! Chill out!" Brian replied as he rolled over and went back to sleep.

"That's what you told me ten minutes ago." Vinny then said to him.

"All right I'm up! You happy now?" Brain said to as he got out of bed.

"Get dressed and get downstairs before you're late for school again." Vinny told him as he left Brian's room.

Vinny walks into the hallway. Danny stops him.

"Hey dad. Have you seen my Michigan Wolverine jerseys?" Danny asked him.

"Did you try the hamper?" Vinny then asked him.

"Yeah. I even looked in my room and they weren't there." Danny explained to him.

"Did you check my closet?" Vinny then asked him.

"Why would they be there?" Danny then asked him.

"Because they're my jerseys and I just put them there two days ago." Vinny told him.

"I'll go check there." Danny told him as he went to check Vinny's closet.

Matt is looking for his left sneaker. "Dad have you seen my left sneaker?" Matt asked him.

"Did you check your room?" Vinny asked him.

"Yeah. I even checked under my bed." Matt told him showing Vinny his room which was a mess.

"How in the world could you find anything in this room? It's a mess." Vinny told him as he walked into Matt's room.

"I was going to clean it eventually." Matt told him.

"It's going to be cleaned when you get home from school." Vinny told him.

"But, dad." Matt pleaded giving him the sad face.

"Don't even give me that face Matt. You have to keep your room clean." Vinny told him.

"Okay." Matt said to him.

"I found your left sneaker. Mich has it." Vinny told him as he saw Mich running downstairs with Matt's left sneaker. (It's no typo. Mich is the name of the yellow lab that Vinny and Lorraine bought when Brain was 8. If you know my stories you know why the dog's name is Mich. If you don't his name is Mich because Vinny went to the University of Michigan and is a Detroit Lions fan and Detriot is a city in Michigan.) Matt runs after Mich.

"Give me back my sneaker Mich!" Matt yelled as he ran down the stairs chasing Mich.

"Watch where you're going Matt." Kate D (Kate D is Vinny and Lorraine's daughter.) told Matt as he ran by her almost knocking her down.

"Mich give me that sneaker." Lorraine said to Mich. Mich drops the sneaker and as Lorraine goes to pick it up Mich picks it up again and starts to run again. Vinny grabs the sneaker which is in Mich's mouth and is playing a game of tug of war with Mich.

"Drop it." Vinny told him. Mich drops the sneaker and looks at Vinny with a sad face. Matt picks up the sneaker that's covered in dog drool.

"Ew. I think I'll wear my other pair of sneakers." Matt said as he picked up the sneaker and brought it to his room.

Brian finally comes downstairs. He's wearing a ski cap with a skater shirt on and jean shorts that goes up to his shins.

"Do you have to wear that ski cap everyday? It's June." Vinny told him.

"And your point is?" Brian asked him.

"Dad don't even bother. He can't help being a skaterpunk." Danny said to him.

"Shut up jock itch." Brian told Danny.

"Do you two ever stop arguing?" Lorraine asked them.

"No." Brian and Danny answered at the same time.

Matt and Marie come downstairs. Lorraine drives Danny and Kate to Lakeside High School. Brian and Marie walk to Evanston Middle School. Vinny drives Matt to Evanston Elementary School. He still drives the Z. Matt is the only child of his and Lorraine that isn't embarrassed by the Z.


	2. The Skate Shop

Chapter 2: The Skate Shop

It's after school and Brian has to go to work. Brian works in his Uncle Jake's skate shop. (Much to the disliking of Vinny.) He has to walk there because he had his skateboard taken away for a week because he got into trouble with a teacher the week before. Vinny always offers him a ride there but, Brian doesn't like being seen in the Z with his dad.

Brian walks into his uncle's skate shop. Jake's Skates is the name of Jake's store.

"Hey dude." Jake said to him as he walked in.

"Hey Uncle Jake." Brian said to him.

"What's going on?" Jake then asked him.

"Nothing much. How about you?" Brian then asked him.

"Same old same old." Jake told him.

"Did my dad has that Z when he first me you?" Brian asked him.

"Your dad got that car in the late 1990's." Jake replied.

"That's almost thirty years." Brian said to him.

"I know. He loves that car." Jake then said to him.

"I can tell. He washes it like every weekend." Brian said to him.

"Did he ever tell you about the first time he let drive that car?" Jake asked him.

"No." Brian replied.

"It was at your Uncle Charlie and Aunt Ann's wedding at Lake Winnetka. Your Uncle Mike ran away and snuck into the back seat of that car and your dad didn't even know until he was 4 hours away from Lake Winnetka." Jake explained.

"How come he didn't notice Uncle Mike in the back seat?" Brian asked him.

"Your dad had his stuff back there and your Uncle Mike hid underneath all of it. Back to the story. They stopped for something to eat and when they got out the Z wouldn't start and your dad called your Uncle Charlie to come pick him and Mike up. So, me, your Aunt Sarah, your Uncle Charlie, Elliot and Daniel Murtaugh went to pick them up. Your dad let me drive the Z back to the Lake Winnetka and we got lost but, we found the Boulders where your uncle Charlie and Aunt Ann got married." Jake then explained to him.

"That story was so boring." Brian told him.

"I didn't tell you how we found the wedding. I crashed your dads car through the fence to the Boulders backyard." Jake then told him.

"He never told me that story. My dad must of killed you." Brian said to him.

"He threw a small piece of fence at me. Luckily I ducked and it hit the alter." Jake told him.

"My dad didn't do that to you." Brian told him.

"Yes he did. You can even go ask him." Jake said to him.

"Whatever." Brian said to him.

"Your dad had a short temper back then." Jake told him.

"My dad doesn't have a short temper." Brian told him.

"He did before Danny and Kate were born. After that he calmed down alot." Jake told him.

"If my dad had a short temper I would get yelled at everyday." Brian then said to him.

"Listen dude I'm telling you. Your dad was crazy before your older brother and sister were born. He got into a pool hall fight because of me when I was sixteen." Jake told him.

"I can see my dad getting into a fight but, a pool hall fight. Now, I know you're pulling my leg." Brian said to him.

"I swear on this skate shop bro." Jake told him.

"What happened?" Brian asked him.

"This 21 year old guy wouldn't give me the money he owed me from playing pool." Jake told him.

"How much did he owe you?" Brain then asked him.

"Two hundred. He wouldn't give it to me. So, your dad went down there, got into a fight and went to jail." Jake told him.

"My dad was never in jail." Brian then said to him.

"Oh yes he was. So, was Kevin Riley his ex college teammate and your cousin Robert who was a Lieutenant in the NYPD." Jake told him.

"No way. I don't believe you." Brian told him.

"Yes way. Just ask your dad." Jake told him.

"I will when I get home tonight." Brian said to him.

"You do that and see what he tells you." Jake told him.

"How close were you and my dad when you were my age?" Brian asked him.

"I didn't know your dad until I was fifteen. And we weren't that close at first because me and your Aunt Sarah use to get him into trouble alot." Jake told him.

"What did you guys do to him?" Brian asked him.

"For starters we cost him fifteen thousand dollars when we went to DiMiranda's in New York City." Jake told him.

"How did you guys do that?" Brian then asked him.

"I broke the managers nose with a football and your Aunt Sarah bent a baseball. But, the manager only charged your dad for his broken nose." Jake told him.

"I believe that you and Aunt Sarah would do that." Brian said to him.

"You believe that but, not all the stuff your dad did?" Jake asked him.

"My dad isn't cool." Brian said to him.

"Trust me your dad is more then cool." Jake told him.

"Maybe more cool then Uncle Bud but, that's it." Brian said to him.

"Your dad was the coolest adult I knew and he still is." Jake told him.

"Maybe my dad was cool when he was younger." Brian said to him.

"Believe me when I tell you this your dad is still cooler then me." Jake told him.

"Yeah right." Brian told him.

"Again ask him." Jake then told him again.

"All right." Brian said to him.

Jake continues to tell Brian what Vinny did when he was younger and Brian doesn't believe any of it.


	3. Brian Learns Somethings About His Dad's

Chapter 3: Brian Learns Somethings About His Dad's Past

At the DiMiranda house Vinny is trying to convince Matt that he has togo to bed.

"Matt you need to go to bed." Vinny said to him.

"I'm not tired." Matt told him with a yawn.

"That's why you were sleeping on the couch." Vinny said to him.

"I was resting my eyes." Matt told him.

"For an hour?" Vinny asked him.

"I'm up now." Matt said to him.

"Matt you have school tomorrow." Vinny told him.

"So?" Matt then asked him.

"Matt you can't even complete a sentence without yawning." Vinny said to him.

"But, I'm not tired." Matt said to him with a yawn.

"Matt I don't need this right now." Vinny said to him.

"Then what do you need?" Matt asked him.

"I need you to go to bed." Vinny replied.

"I'm not tired." Matt told him again.

"I bet you can't even walk up those stairs and to your room." Vinny told him.

"I bet I can." Matt said to him.

Matt goes upstairs and to his room. "I told you I could do it." Matt said to Vinny.

"Now that you're up there and and in your room you can go to bed now." Vinny told him from downstairs.

"Hey, you tricked me." Matt said to him.

"I know. Now go to bed." Vinny told him.

"Fine but, this ain't over." Matt told him as he closed his door.

Brian walks in the door.

"Hey Brian." Vinny said to him.

"Hey dad, Uncle Jake told me something things about you when you were younger and I want to know if they're true." Brian said to him.

Vinny just stares at him and wonders what Jake told him. He then takes a seat at the kitchen table and Brian takes a seat next to him.

"What did he tell you?" Vinny asked him.

"He told me about the time you guys went to DiMiranda's in New York City." Brian said to him.

"That's true. Even the part about me being handcuffed and being stunned." Vinny told him.

"He didn't tell me about those things." Brian said to him.

"Then those things didn't happen." Vinny told him.

"Yeah they did." Brian said to him.

"No, you have no proof." Vinny said to him.

"You just told me those things happened." Brian told him.

"I'll deny it." Vinny told him.

"So that's a yes that you were stunned and handcuffed in New York City." Brian said to him.

"What else did he tell you?" Vinny asked him.

"He told me that you were arrested for being involved in a pool hall fight because of him." Brian said to him.

"That's also true." Vinny said to him.

"So, you have a criminal record?" Brain then asked him.

"Not a criminal record exactlly." Vinny said to him.

"You went to jail it counts as a mark on your criminal record." Vinny told him.

"Fine I have a criminal record." Vinny told him.

"Who was Bill Murtaugh?" Brian then asked him.

"He's an old friend." Vinny told him.

"That's not what Uncle Jake told me." Brian then said to him.

"He was an old rival of mine from college." Vinny told him.

"Uncle Jake told me it was more then a rivalry." Brian then said to him.

"I hate your uncle." Vinny told him.

"Which one?" Brian then asked him.

"Your Uncle Jake." Vinny replied.

"Why because he taught me how to skateboard?" Brian asked him.

"That and because he told you things I didn't want you kids to know about me when I was younger." Vinny told him.

"He didn't tell me everything you did." Brian said to him.

"The things he didn't tell you never happened." Vinny said to him as he left the kitchen table.

"What else did you do?" Brian asked him.

"Good night Brian." Vinny said as he upstairs and went to his bedroom.

"I'm going to find out one way or another." Brian said to himself as he went to bed himself.


	4. Don't Be Late

Please read and review. If you have any thing to say about my story please review. I'm a Detriot Lions fan I'm use to being criticized by everyone. I don't care if it's negative just please write something. And if you think I can make it better please tell me. And if you have any ideas for chapters tell me and I'll put them in if they're good ones. Thank you.

Chapter 4: Don't Be Late

It's the next morning and it's a Saturday. Brian comes downstairs in his normal attire a skater shirt with jean shorts and a ski cap with sneakers on.

"Don't you anything else to wear?" Danny asked him when he saw Brian.

"This is pretty much it besides plain shirts and regular blue jeans." Brian told him.

Lorraine and Kate D are talking about her boyfriend Derek Tortanti. (Everyone of my made up characters are Italian and I love it.) Derek is about 5'6" and is also Danny's best friend and teammate on the football team and Derek has wavy brown hair.

"So, where are you and Derek going tonight?" Lorraine asked her.

"Just to the movies and then getting something to eat afterwards." Kate D replied.

"You need a ride?" Lorraine asked her.

"No we can walk. It's the only exercise he gets when he isn't playing football." Kate D told Lorraine with a laugh.

"Derek isn't out of shape. Your father's out of shape." Lorraine told her.

"I'm not out of shape. I just haven't gotten back to my college form yet." Vinny told them.

Lorraine looks at him and rolls her eyes at him.

"Dad don't be late to the competition." Brian told him.

"What competiton?" Vinny asked him.

"The skateboard competition. I only told you about it like everyday since last month." Brian told him.

"I thought you were grounded?" Vinny then asked him.

"My punishment ended yesterday. I'm free to skate now." Brian said to him.

"I'll be there." Vinny told him.

"That's what you said last time and the two other times before that." Brian reminded him.

"Nothing will keep me from being on time to that competiton." Vinny said to him.

"You better be there. Especially since I'm going to win first palce in all the events." Brian told him.

"Getting alittle full of yourself." Vinny then said to him.

"I'm not full of myself. I know I'm going to win." Brian then told him.

"All right bro. Go out there and do that voodoo that you do." Vinny told him. (I had to use that line. I was watching Blazing Saddles the other day and that's one of my favorite lines in that movie.)

"Do what?" Brian asked him as he was walking out the door.

"Just do your best." Vinny then told him.

"All right. I'll see everyone at the competition and that goes double for you dad." Brian said as he closed the front door.

It's two hours before the competiton and everyone is ready to leave.

"Vinny, let's go." Lorraine said to Vinny.

"I'll be there in a minute." Vinny told her.

Vinny is about to walk out the door when his cell phone rings.

"Don't even think about it." Lorraine told him.

"I need to answer my cell phone it could be someone important. I'll meet you guys there." Vinny told them.

"You better show up this time." Lorraine warned him.

"Don't worry Lorraine." Vinny told her.

Lorraine, Matt, Danny and Kate D go to the skating competition.

Vinny answers his cell phone.

"Hello? Hi Bud."Vinny said as he answered his cell phone.

He then hits himself in the head with his cell phone for answering it.

"That noise was me hitting myself in the head with my cell phone because I answered it before checking who it was first. What is it Bud? How the hell should I know, I'm outside about to go somewhere. I'm not checking. I don't care. I'm still not checking. Why can't you check it? You don't know what's wrong? Bud I put you in charge of the Houston Head Quarters so I won't have to do this stuff. Fine I'll go check." Vinny told him as he went back inside.

"Everything seems fine to me Bud. Did you check if your fax machine was even plugged in? You'll go check now that's great." Vinny said to him.

Ten minutes later Bud comes back to the phone.

"It wasn't plugged in. So, try it now. Yeah I got the fax right here in my hand Bud. I need to go over all these figures right now. Bud, Kim and Jessica don't live across the street anymore in case you haven't noticed.They were the ones who helped me with stuff like this and it got done ten times faster. Do you need them now? By tonight! Bud this is going to take all afternoon to do! I know I need to go over these figures. I'll get them to you tomorrow night. Bud it ain't my fault that you don't know how to plug in a fax machine. You need them by tonight. Fine I'll get these done as fast as I can." Vinny told him as he hung up his cell phone.

Vinny goes into his office and starts to go the figures that Bud just sent him.

Does he make it to the competiton on time or does he forget about the whole thing? And again please review. I don't care what it is you have to say. If you have something on your mind about this fan fic let me know. And if you want me to fix something about it I will.


	5. Is He Going To Make It?

Chapter 5: Is He Going To Make It?

Vinny gets the figures that Bud sent him and finally finishes them after four hours of doing them. He looks at the clock on his wall.

"Shit! I knew I should of killed Bud when I had the chance." Vinny said as he was leaving for the skateboarding competition.

At the skateboarding competition Brian just finished the vert part of the competition and wins first in that and wins second in the freestyle.

"Brian you did great today." Lorraine said to him.

"And of course dad missed it again." Brian said to her.

"I'm sure he has a good explaination for that." Lorraine told him.

Vinny arrives while everyone is leaving.

"I'm sorry I missed it Brian." Vinny told him.

"I know." Brian said to him as he got into Lorraine's car.

"What happened this time Vinny?" Sarah asked him.

"None of your business psycho cop." Vinny said to her.

"I can write a ticket right now." Sarah told him.

"How?" Vinny then asked her.

"Broken tail light." Sarah told him.

"It's not broken." Vinny said to her.

Sarah walks over to his car and has a big rock in her hand. "I can make it brake." Sarah then told him.

"Fine I'll tell you. Bud called me and he couldn't get his fax machine to work." Vinny started to explain.

"What does that have to do with you missing the competition dude?" Jake asked him.

"Bud faxed me the figures for the Houston Head Quarters and of course I have to go over them and correct them if there's an error on it." Vinny then explained.

"Vinny why did those figures make you miss the competiton?" Lorraine asked him.

"Because Bud is an idiot and didn't realize the fax machine was unplugged. And those figures had to finished and sent back to Houston by tonight." Vinny told them.

"You could of waited until we got home to do those figures." Lorraine told him.

"It took me four hours to do them and I just got finished with them." Vinny told her.

Lorraine looks at him gets into her car and drives Danny, Kate D and Brian back home. Matt is waiting by Vinny's Z.

"You put your work ahead of your family? Nice work Superdad." Sarah said to him sarcastically.

"At least I'm married and have kids unlike you." Vinny told her.

"Jake isn't married." Sarah said to him.

"He isn't married anymore." Vinny said to her.

"I love it when we can bring up my divorce from out of the blue." Jake said to them.

"Sorry Jake. I was trying to correct Sarah." Vinny told him.

"I'm not your biggest problem Mafia Man. You have a disappointed son to deal with when you get home. Plus Lorraine is going to kill you." Sarah said to him.

"I know. And stop calling me Mafia Man." Vinny told her.

"I've called you that since you moved to here 17 years ago." Sarah told him.

"And everytime I have to tell you to stop calling me that." Vinny said to her.

"Uncle Vinny you missed it. Brian was unbelievable." David said to Vinny. (I know I waited too long to get David into the story.)

"I know I did." Vinny told him.

"He won first in the vert and won second in the freestyle." David told him.

"He did? I can't believe I missed it." Vinny said to him.

"Vinny you missed the last three skateboarding competitions including this one." Jake told him.

"I know Jake." Vinny said to him.

"We'll see you later Vinny." Jake told him as him and David went to Jake's car.

"I'll see you guys later." Vinny told them.

"Good luck Vinny. You're going to need it." Sarah told him as she went to her car.

Vinny goes to his car and sees Matt waiting for him.

"It's about time you got here." Matt told him as he got into Vinny's car.

"I got caught up." Vinny told him.

"How?" Matt then asked him.

"It's a long story." Vinny told him.

"We got time." Matt said to him.

Vinny laughs and tells Matt what happened with Bud.


	6. The Office

Chapter 6: The Office

When Vinny and Matt get home. Vinny is not thrilled about walking inside since he knew that he would get an earfull from Lorraine. Matt goes in ahead of his dad. Vinny walks in a few minutes after Matt.

"Vinny can I see you in your office?" Lorraine asked him.

"All right." Vinny said to her.

'Man she's taking this pretty well. Maybe I won't get yelled at too badly.' Vinny thought to himself as he walked into his office. He closes the door behind him and sees the look on Lorraine's face. 'Oh god! Here it comes!' Vinny then thought to himself.

"You did it again." Lorraine said to him.

"It's not fault my fault that Nora's husband is an idiot." Vinny told her.

"Don't try to blame this on Bud." Lorraine told him.

"I would of been there on time if he knew how to work a fax machine let alone check if the damn thing is plugged in." Vinny said to her.

"Bud had nothing to do with you missing the skate competition!" Lorraine yelled at him.

"Baby, those figures had todone and sent backto him by tonight." Vinny told her.

"Don't you baby me." Lorraine snapped at him.

Brian and Danny are listening from the outside of the door.

"What happened?" Matt asked them.

"Mom just told dad not to call her baby." Danny told him.

"She must really mad at him then." Matt told them.

"You think? He missed my skateboarding competiton again." Brian told him.

Back in Vinny's office.

"Look Vinny you need to decide what's more important to you. Your family or your business." Lorraine told him.

"You know you guys are more important to me then anything else in this universe." Vinny told her.

"You really showed that today." Lorraine told him.

"This is getting ridiculous." Vinny said to her.

"I'll tell you what's ridiculous! You told your son that you would be there and you didn't show up!" Lorraine yelled at him.

"I know! I feel like crap! You happy now?" Vinny asked her.

"No, I'm disappointed." Lorraine told him as she walked out of his office.

As she walks out of Vinny's office Danny, Brian and Matt have to act like they weren't listening in.

"I know you guys were listening in. So, don't act all innocent." Lorraine told them as she walked out the front door.

Vinny is in his office sitting at his desk. Brian walks into his office.

"Hey Brian." Vinny said to him.

"Mom really let you have it didn't she?" Brian asked him.

"I know you, Danny and Matt were listening to us." Vinny said to him.

"How do you guys always know?" Brian asked him.

"You guys always did that. Danny did that since he was six and you've been doing it since you were five. And Matt started doing it two years ago." Vinny explained.

"Can I ask you something?" Brian said to him.

"You just did." Vinny replied.

"That never gets old with you." Brian said to him shaking his head.

"What did you want to ask me?" Vinny asked him.

"What is it that you don't like about skateboarding?" Brian then asked him.

"It doesn't look like it takes much skills. I think anybody can ride a skateboard." Vinny told him.

"It's harder then it looks. And it takes more skills to do then football." Brian told him.

"Back up. Don't ever compare a contact sport like football to skateboarding. There two completely different things." Vinny told him.

"You just don't get it. It's what I like to do. You know, like how Danny and Matt like to play sports and like how Marie and Kate like to do girly stuff." Brian explained.

"No, I don't get it. And I probably never will." Vinny told him.

"You need to be opened minded about these things dad." Brian told him.

"If your Uncle Jake couldn't convince me to like skateboarding after 18 years of badgering me to like it. You sure ain't going to do it." Vinny told him.

"I knew it. The only reason you hate skateboarding is because you don't like Uncle Jake." Brian said to him.

"I hated skateboarding way before I met Uncle Jake." Vinny explained.

"Admit it you hate Uncle Jake." Brian told him.

"I don't hate him. Sure me and him don't see eye to eye on alot of things especially the way my hair looks compared to his. And we have differnet parenting technics." Vinny said to him.

"Uncle Jake is cool. He lets David play football and doesn't have a problem with it." Brian told him.

"What's your point?" Vinny asked him.

"My point is Uncle Jake is cooler then you. He acts like he's a normal guy." Brian said to him.

"That's your opinion. And Uncle Jake isn't normal. No one on your mother's side is normal." Vinny told him.

"And your side of the family is?" Brian asked him.

"You got me there. But, no one on my side lives next door to us or across the street." Vinny told him.

"I like having it that way." Brian said to him.

"I hate it. Especially since Aunt Sarah lives next door to us. Your grandparents are all right and Uncle Jake can be okay at times. But, Aunt Sarah is a royal pain in my ass." Vinny told him.

"I think it's funny when she pulls you over because she has nothing better to do." Brian said to him.

"That's real hysterical." Vinny said to him sarcastically.

"Especially when she makes you do a field suprioty test for no reason. And if you do anything she can write you a ticket for not cooperating wth a Police Officier." Brian told him with a laugh.

"I see that you're not mad at me then." Vinny said to him.

"I'm still mad at you." Brian said to him.

"It doesn't seem like it." Vinny said to him.

"That because I'm use to you thinking what I do isn't important." Brian told him as he left Vinny's office.


	7. You Don't Care

Chapter 7: You Don't Care

Vinny comes out of his office after Brian to see what his problem is.

"Hey Bri, what's your problem?" Vinny asked him.

"Why would you care?" Brian snapped at him.

"Drop the attitude!" Vinny told him.

"How about I don't?" Brian asked him.

"You're pressing your luck pal!" Vinny told him.

"Oh no." Brian said to him sarcastically shaking.

"Why do you act this way all the time?" Vinny then asked him.

"It's because of you!" Brian told him.

"Me? What the hell did I ever do to make you this way?" Vinny asked him.

"Dad you never missed any of Danny or Matt's games but, you always find a way to miss my skateboard competitons." Brian said to him.

"I only missed three of those skateboard things." Vinny told him.

"You still never missed any of Danny or Matt's games. You were also there for everything that Kate and Marie did." Brian then told him.

"You think I miss your skateboard things on purpose?" Vinny asked him.

"I actually do. And those skateboard things are called competitons. You should know that by now Mr.Sport." Brian replied.

"You must be out of your mind! I would never miss one of your competitions on purspose." Vinny told him.

"Whatever dad." Brian told him as he went to his room. He slams the door.

Vinny goes upstairs and goes to Brians room. He opens the door and walks in.

"Don't you knock?" Brian asked him.

"It's my house, I don't have to knock!" Vinny told him.

"So what?" Brian asked him.

"So what? I'll tell you so what. You need to lose that attitude and think before you speak!" Vinny told him.

"I don't have time for this." Brian said to him.

"You have time now because you're grounded for two weeks." Vinny told him.

"For what?" Brian asked getting up from his bed.

"For giving me this attitude and back talking. You need to learn to pick your battles." Vinny then told him.

"This is so unfair." Brian told him.

"Life is unfair." Vinny told him.

"Your life isn't unfair. You're rich." Brian told him.

"How do you think I started my business? If my knee didn't tear against Ohio State I would of retired from the NFL a few years ago. So my life wasn't all that great for me either. I just got lucky that my business took off like it did. And I was also lucky that I ever met your mother because she was the best thing to happen to me." Vinny told him.

Brian sits back on his bed and puts on his walkmen like Vinny wasn't even in the room.

"Whatever Bri. I hope you enjoy this room because you'll be spending alot of time in it for the next two weeks. And no walkmen." Vinny said taking the walkmen off Brian's head.

"What gives?" Brian asked him.

"You're grounded remember? That means no TV, hanging out, leaving this house except for school, no listening to music and especially no skateboarding." Vinny told him as he left Brian's room. Brian slams the door behind Vinny.


	8. Homework Help

Chapter 8: Homework Help

Lorraine walks back into the house. She sees the look on Vinny's face.

"What happened?" Lorraine asked him.

"Brian had another one of his attitude problems." Vinny told her.

"Well you deserved it." Lorraine said to him.

"No I didn't." Vinny told her.

"Vinny you told him that you would be there and you weren't yet again." Lorraine said to him.

"I was held up by the figures that Bud sent me." Vinny explained.

"Vinny you should of just told Bud that you'll get it to him tomorrow." Lorraine told him.

"I tried that. He said they had to done and sent back to him by tonight." Vinny told her.

"I thought you were the boss?" Lorraine asked him.

"I am. Even the boss' hands are tied at times." Vinny said to her.

"What did you do when Brian gave you an attitude?" Lorraine then asked him.

"I grounded him for two weeks." Vinny told her.

"That seems fair." Lorraine said to him.

"With no TV, going out except for school, no walkmen and definitely no skateboarding." Vinny told her.

"Okay, that seems harsh." Lorraine said to him.

"Lorraine you know I hate being the bad guy." Vinny told her with a laugh.

"You're not the badperson all the time." Lorraine told him.

"I know.We take turns. And you're too beautiful to be the bad person." Vinny then said to her.

"Don't try to butter me up." Lorraine said to him.

"Who said I was trying to butter you up?" Vinny asked her.

"Vinny we've been married for 18 years. I think I should know by now when you're trying to butter me up." Lorraine replied.

"Okay you got me. But, you can't blame me because you are just so damn hot." Vinny told her.

"It won't work this time." Lorraine told him.

"Yes it will because I know exactlly where you're spot is." Vinny told her.

"Don't even dare." Lorraine warned him.

"Or what?" Vinny asked her.

Vinny gets up and starts to kiss Lorraine she tries to act like it's not having an affect on her. Then Lorraine and Vinny fall on the couch and start making out. Marie walks down the stairs and catches them.

"Ew gross." Marie said to them.

"Vinny get off." Lorraine told him as she pushed him off the couch.

"I love it when you play rough." Vinny told her as he was getting up.

"Not when one of our kids are right there." Lorraine told him.

"Yeah dad show some consideration." Marie said to him.

"You'll be doing this with your boyfriend one day. When you're living on your own because you're not doing this stuff in this house or on this couch." Vinny told her.

Marie shudders and goes back upstairs.

Vinny and Lorraine continue on what they were doing.

"Dad!" Matt yelled from his room.

"Vinny did you not just hear your son?" Lorraine asked him.

"I was hoping I was only thinking he yelled 'Dad'." Vinny replied.

"Dad!" Matt yelled again.

Vinny sighs and goes to Matt's room.

"What is it Matt?" Vinny asked him as he walked into his room.

"Can you help me with my math homework?" Matt asked him.

"Math wasn't my best subject in school." Vinny told him.

"It'ssecond grademath." Matt told him.

"Fine let me take a look at it. It does look pretty easy. I'll help with it." Vinny said to him.

Vinny helps Matt with his math homework. Danny walks in.

"Hey dad, can you help me with my math homework after you're finished helping Matt?" Danny asked him.

"Sure. I'll be there in a few minutes." Vinny told him.

After Vinny helps Matt with his math homework he goes to Danny's room. Danny gives him his math homework. Vinny looks at it for ten minutes.

"When did they start putting letters with the numbers?" Vinny asked him.

"Forget it. I'll go ask mom." Danny said to him as Vinny gave him back his homework.

"Dad can you help me with my homework?" Kate asked him.

"What subject is it?" Vinny asked her.

"Italian." Kate replied.

"That's my best subject. I know that language like the back of my hand." Vinny told her.

"I know that's why I asked you and not mom." Kate told him.

"It's good you know the system. I'll help you with you're Social Studies, English and Italian. All the othet subjects go to your mother." Vinny told her.

"What if I took Spanish instead of Italian?" Kate asked him.

"I would disown you as my child." Vinny told her sarcastically.

"Dad could you be serious for one second?" Kate asked him.

"I would ask your Aunt Sarah if she could help with that subject." Vinny told her.

"Isn't Italian and Spanish the same thing?" Kate asked him.

"Spanish is second hand Italian. The Spanish stole that language from the Italians and called it their own. That's why they sound similar." Vinny explained. (If you get offended by this remark then you didn't read my Freaky Friday fan fic.)

"Aunt Sarah said that Italian and Spanish are the same thing." Kate told him.

"Well your Aunt Sarah is on drugs." Vinny told her.

"Oh god." Kate said as she shook her head.

"I'm only kidding. She really smokes pot." Vinny said to her.

"Dad I need you to be serious for at least ten minutes while you're helping me with my homework." Kate told him.

"Fine. Your Aunt Sarah isn't on drugs or smoking pot. But, she does have a short temper." Vinny told her.

"I agree with you about the short temper but, I don't agree with you about anything else." Kate told him.

"That's my girl." Vinny told her.

Vinny helps Kate with her Italian homework.


	9. Time Alone

Chapter 9: Time Alone

After Vinny helps Kate with her Italian. Vinny goes to Marie's room to see if she needed help with her homework.

"Do you need help with any homework?" Vinny asked her.

"Actually I need help with my homework in Sex Education." Marie told him sarcastically.

"Very funny Marie. You get that sense of humor from me." Vinny told her.

"I thought so also." Marie said to him.

"If you need any help with your homework just give me a call." Vinny said to her.

"I will except for when I need help with math." Marie said to him.

"You know me all too well." Vinny told her with a smile.

Vinny leaves Maries room and walks into Brian's room. Brian's asleep and has his covers half off of him. Vinny puts the covers over him, shuts off his light and takes the book he was reading off of him. (Just because I rag on skateboarders doesn't mean I think that they're stupid.) Vinny reads what the books title is.

"The Lord of The Flies. I remember reading this book in high school my sophmore year." Vinny said to himself as he put the book on Brian's desk.

He leaves Brian's room. And goes downstairs. The doorbell ring, Vinny answers the door.

"Hey Mr.DiMiranda." Derek(Kate's boyfriend)said as he opened the door.

"Hey Derek. How's everyone doing?" Vinny asked him as he walked in.

"Everyone is fine. How's everyone here?" Derek replied.

"We're doing good." Vinny told him.

Kate comes downstairs.

"You ready to go?" Derek asked her.

"Yeah. Let's go." Kate said to him.

"Cool. Bye Mr. and Mrs.DiMiranda." Derek said as him and Kate went out the door.

It's two hours later. Vinny and Lorraine are sitting on the couch watching TV.

"Dad?" Matt called from his room.

Vinny gets off the couch and goes to Matt's room.

"Yes Matt." Vinny said as he walked into his room.

"Why is Brian mad at you all the time?" Matt asked him.

"It's because I missed alot of his skateboard competitons and I never missed any of your or Danny's football or baseball games." Vinny told him.

"Why?" Matt asked him.

"I don't know." Vinny told him.

"Why?" Matt asked him again.

"Again I don't know." Vinny told him.

"Why?" Matt asked him a final time.

"Are you going to stop asking me 'Why?' if I tell you an answer other then 'I don't know'?" Vinny asked him.

"Yeah." Matt replied.

"Something always happens when Brian has his skateboard competitions. It never fails." Vinny explained to him.

"Like what?" Matt asked him.

"Something happens with one of my Head Quarters and I have to deal with it. Like today when your Uncle Bud couldn't figure out how to work the fax machine." Vinny then explained.

"Oh okay." Matt said to him.

"Good night Matt." Vinny said as he turned off Matt's light.

"Good night dad." Matt said as Vinny left the room.

"You going to bed?" Vinny asked Danny.

"No." Danny replied.

Kate comes home from her date with Derek.

"Does Derek need a ride home?" Vinny asked her.

"No. His brother picked us up from the movie." Kate told him.

"Oh okay." Vinny replied.

"Night guys." Kate said as she went upstairs.

"Night Kate." Vinny and Lorraine said at the same time.

"Finally some alone time." Vinny said to Lorraine.

Just then Mich jumps on the couch and sits in between them and puts his head on Vinny's lap.

"I'm not petting you." Vinny told him.

Mich looks at him and whines.

"Vinny look at that face." Lorraine told him.

Vinny starts to pet Mich who jumps off the couch and gets his tennis ball and places it in Vinny's lap.

"I'm not throwing the ball." Vinny said to him.

Mich nudges the ball into Vinny's hand. Vinny throws the ball and Mich just looks at him and places his paw on Vinny's knee.

"Go find yourself a nice female dog." Vinny said to him.

Mich walks away and falls alseep on the floor.

"Now we're finally alone." Vinny said to Lorraine.

Vinny puts his arm around her and they continue to watch TV.


	10. I Don't Hate You

Chapter 10: I Don't Hate You

Vinny and Lorraine are in bed. It's two in the morning when Vinny gets that feeling he's being watched.

"Dad?" Matt whispered to him.

Vinny doesn't respond.

"Dad?" Matt whispered to him again.

Again Vinny doesn't respond to him.

"Dad?" Matt whispered a final time. Then Matt taps him on the shoulder.

"What is it Matt?" Vinny asked him as he turned to face his son.

"I can't sleep." Matt told him.

"Why?" Vinny asked him.

"I had a bad dream. Can I sleep with you and mom tonight?" Matt asked him.

"Sure." Vinny told him.

Matt crawls over Vinny. Matt's knee goes into Vinny's groin. Vinny moans in pain.

"You all right dad?" Matt asked him.

"I'm fine. Don't worry." Vinny told him.

Matt goes under the covers, Vinny gets out of bed andgives him an extra pillow from the closet.

"Night dad." Matt said as he went to sleep.

"Night Matt." Vinny said as he went back to sleep.

It's the next morning. Everyone is down stairs eating breakfast.

"Dad how come Mich never listens to me?" Matt asked him.

"He listens to you." Vinny told him.

"No he doesn't. Watch." Matt said to him.

Matt leaves the table and goes over to Mich. "Sit." Matt said to Mich. Mich didn't sit. "Sit Mich." Matt said again. Mich still doesn't sit. "See dad." Matt said to Vinny.

"Come here Mich." Vinny said to him. Mich walks over to Vinny. "Sit." Vinny then said to him. Without hesitation Mich sits. "Good boy." Vinny said to Mich scrathing his head.

"He only listens to you." Matt said to him.

"No, he listens to other people in this house." Vinny told him.

"Like who?" Matt asked him.

"Your mother." Vinny said to him.

"He doesn't listen to me. When I take him for walks he drags me along and when I tell him to stop he doesn't." Lorraine told him.

"He does the same with me." Kate said to Vinny.

"Me too." Marie then told him.

"He use to do that to me. When I was younger." Danny said to them.

"What did you do to make him stop?" Kate asked him.

"I started to work out for football and got stronger then he is." Danny explained.

"How come he doesn't drag you along dad?" Marie asked him.

"I weight more then he does. If he pulls me I ain't going far." Vinny told her.

"What about you Brian?" Matt asked him.

"He doesn't pull me." Brian said to him.

"Why?" Matt then asked him.

"Because when Mich was just a puppy I taught him not to pull me. Now he walks next to me except when he sees a cat or a squirrel. Then he'll try to drag me along. Put when he pulls on the leash I pull him back." Brian explain.

"I remember when Mich would pull you on your skateboard." Danny said to him.

"He still does." Brian told him.

"And Mich and Brian have a bond with each other." Vinny said to them.

"How come?" Matt asked him.

"Me and your mother bought Mich when Brian was eight. Mich would always go near Brian and play with him." Vinny told him.

"I want a dog now." Matt said to him.

"You have a dog." Vinny said to him.

"Yeah little bro. Mich is your dog." Brian said to him.

They finish breakfast. Sarah walks in the house through the front door.

"We need to lock that front door." Vinny said to Lorraine.

"Nice to see you too Vinny." Sarah told him.

"You know I'm only joking with you. I don't really hate you. I just like to annoy you." Vinny said to her.

"Same here." Sarah told him.

"What do you want Sarah?" Lorraine asked her.

"Nothing. Jake and David weren't home. And mom and dadleft last nightfor Florida tovisit Kim and Jessica." Sarah said to her.

"So you were bored and decided to come over here to annoy me." Vinny said to her.

"Pretty much." Sarah said to him.

"Aunt Sarah did you ever have a dog?" Matt asked her.

"Yeah. He was an American Pitbull named Gunner." Sarah told him.

"Oh, I miss Gunner." Lorraine said to her.

"You never told me you had a dog." Vinny told her.

"Yes I did. I told you that a million times by now." Lorraine said to him.

"How come I never saw this Gunner?" Vinny asked her.

"We had to put him to sleep in April of 2006." Sarah told him.

"Why?" Matt asked her.

"He was hit by Mrs.Shenks car." Lorraine told him.

"That's another reason we hate Mrs.Shenk." Sarah said to him.

"Was Gunner a good dog?" Vinny asked her.

"Yeah. Why would you ask that question?" Sarah then asked him.

"I didn't know Gunner. That dog could of been an asshole." Vinny told her.

"Like you?" Sarah then asked him.

"I'm not an asshole. I'm just a jerk at times." Vinny replied to her.

"At times?" Lorraine asked him.

"Fine 90 percent of the time." Vinny told her.

"90 percent?" Sarah then asked him.

"Fine 100 percent of the time to you." Vinny said to her.

"Thank you." Sarah said to him as she walked out the front door.

"I need to teach Mich to be an attack dog." Vinny said to Lorraine saracastically.

"Mich is too nice to be an attack dog." Lorraine told him.

Matt takes Mich outback and tries to teach Mich to listen to him. After thirty minutes of Matt trying to make Mich sit he is about to give up. "Sit." Matt pleaded with Mich for the final time. Mich finally sits. Matt hugs Mich for finally listening to him. Mich then rolls on his back. Matt then rubs Mich's stomach.


	11. You Shouldn't Of Said That

Chapter 11: You Shouldn't Of Said That

It's later in the day and Vinny just came home with Matt from his baseball game. They walk into the house.

"How did you do?" Lorraine asked Matt.

"I did okay." Matt said to her.

"You did great today." Vinny told him.

"I didn't get a hit at all today." Matt said to him.

"But, you played great on defense today. Matt even the pros go hitless in a game." Vinny told him.

"I know." Matt told him.

"So why are you mad that you didn't get a hit today?" Vinny asked him.

"We lost. I couldn't even hit the ball with a runner on third and one out." Matt told him.

"How much did you lose by?" Danny asked him.

"A run." Matt told him.

"Matt I didn't get a sack every game I played in college." Vinny explained.

"Really?" Matt asked him.

"Yeah. But, I made up for that by occuping blockers so my other teammates could make the play." Vinny then explained.

"Did you ever have a bad game in college?" Matt asked him.

"Of course. As a matter of fact my junior year when my coach first started me I had three bad games in a row." Vinny told him.

"Three?" Matt asked him.

"Yeah. I couldn't make a tackle or a sack and I was blown off the line." Vinny then told him.

"Man dad you sucked in college." Danny said to him.

"I didn't suck in college I was just nervous. After those three games I tried harder in practice, corrected my mistakes and watched film of those games until my eyes hurt from watching them so much." Vinny told him.

"I'll do my best to correct my mistakes and try harder in the next game." Matt said to Vinny as he went upstairs to change out of his uniform.

"Vinny you never told me that story." Lorraine said to him.

"That's because it never happened to me. It happened to the guy who was ahead of me on the depth chart. He was moved down to second defensive tackle and I was bumped up to first defensive tackle." Vinny told her.

"You lied to Matt dad?" Danny asked him.

"I didn't lie exactlly. I told him a true story only it didn't happen to me." Vinny explained to him.

"You still lied to him." Lorraine said to him.

"I did try harder in practice, corrected my mistakes that keep me from becoming a starter and I did watch film until my eyes hurt." Vinny said to them.

"But, you didn't have three bad games in a row." Danny told him.

"I did in high school." Vinny told them.

"You still lied to Matt." Danny said to him.

"I know that, you know that and your mother knows that but, Matt doesn't know that." Vinny told him.

"That doesn't matter. You need to go up there and tell Matt the truth." Lorraine told him.

"Okay. I'll go tell him the truth." Vinny told her as he went upstairs.

Vinny knocks on Matt's door. "You changed yet?" Vinny asked Matt from outside his room.

"Yeah." Matt replied.

Vinny walks into his room.

"Hey dad." Matt said to him.

"Matt I need to tell you something." Vinny said to him.

"That story about you having three bad games in a row in college isn't true?" Matt asked him.

"How did you find out?" Vinny then asked him.

"I heard you, mom and Danny talking about it." Matt replied.

"I'm sorry Matt." Vinny said apologizing to him.

"Don't worry dad. I know that you just told me that story so I wouldn't feel bad about not getting a hit today." Matt said to him.

"That's a true story I had three bad games in high school. Everything else I told you happened also. I tried harder in practice corrected my mistakes and I did watch game film until my eyes hurt." Vinny told him.

"In college or high school?" Matt asked him.

"College and high school." Vinny told him.

"I'm glad you told the truth dad. It shows that you're growing up." Matt told him sarcastically.

"Matt you're eight. You don't know what it means to act grown up yet." Vinny told him.

"You don't know what it means to act grown up either." Matt told him.

"But, I can fake it at my age. I might act like I'm ten but, I'm making more money then a ten year old could only dream of making at my age." Vinny told him.

"That's not fair." Matt said to him.

"You know what's not fair?" Vinny asked him.

"What?" Matt replied.

"You get away with acting like a kid. I can't, if I act like a kid people look at me like I'm an idiot." Vinny told him.

"I still don't think it's fair that you didn't have to grow up but, I'm going to have to." Matt said to him.

"Matt if you make as much money as I did when you're the age I was when my company took off you can act anyway you want." Vinny told him.

"How old were you when your company took off?" Matt asked him.

"I was twenty three. So I wasn't that grown up yet. After I made my first two million I could do whatever I wanted as long as I didn't act too much like a kid." Vinny explained to him.

"You think I can make two million dollars when I'm twenty three?" Matt asked him.

"If you take over DiMiranda's when you're twenty three you'll make over one hundred million in your first three months." Vinny told him.

"Wow." Matt said to him.

"Yeah, wow." Vinny then said to him.

"Can I have DiMiranda's now?" Matt asked him.

"You have to graduate from elementary school, middle school and high school first." Vinny told him.

"Okay. I can do that." Matt said to him.

"Then you have to graduate from college with a Masters in Business Management like I did." Vinny told him.

"That's going to take forever." Matt then said to him.

"It will only take you fourteen more years." Vinny said to him.

"I'll be ancient by then." Matt told him.

"I'll be ancient by then. You'll be a young man." Vinny told him with a laugh.

"It still feels like forever." Matt said to him again.

"That day will be sooner then you think." Vinny told him.

"Really?" Matt then asked him.

"Yeah. It feels like it was just yesterday that I held Danny and Kate in my arms for the first time ever. And that was sixteen years ago." Vinny explained.

"You must be really old then." Matt said to him.

"I'm forty three. And I'm not getting any younger." Vinny told him.

"How old is mom?" Matt asked him.

"She'll tell you she's thirty but, she's really thirty seven." Vinny told him.

"Wow that's old too." Matt said to him.

"Don't say that to your mother." Vinny told him.

"Why?" Matt asked him.

"Your mother doesn't like people to know her real age." Vinny explained.

"Why?" Matt asked him again.

"No women really like to tell people their real ages." Vinny explained.

"Why?" Matt asked him once more.

"I don't know. I'm not a woman." Vinny told him.

"I'll go ask mom then." Matt said as he went to go ask Lorraine.

"I told you not to tell your mother about this." Vinny said as he went to stop Matt from asking Lorraine why women don't like to reveal their real ages.


	12. Thinking Outloud

Chapter 12: Thinking Outloud

Matt goes to ask Lorraine why women don't like to reveal their real ages.

"Mom why do women hate to reveal their real ages to people?" Matt asked her.

"I always reveal my real age to people sweetheart." Lorraine told him.

"That's not what dad said." Matt said to her.

"What did he say?" Lorraine asked him.

"That you tell people that your thirty when you're actually thirty seven." Matt told her.

"He told you that?" Lorraine then asked him.

"Yeah." Matt replied.

"Vinny! Get your Italian American butt down here!" Lorraine yelled up the stairs.

Vinny walks down stairs and walks into the kitchen.

"What is it dear?" Vinny asked her.

"Why did you tell Matt that I don't reveal my real age to people?" Lorraine asked him.

"I never told him that." Vinny told her.

"Yes you did." Matt said to him.

"I might have said something like that. You know how kids have such crazy imaginations." Vinny said to her.

"Dad you said that all women don't like to reveal their real ages to people." Matt told him.

"I also told you not to tell your mother about that." Vinny said to him.

"Oops." Matt said to him.

"Yeah, oops." Vinny said to him.

"Matt will you please leave me and your father alone so we can discuss what he should and shouldn't tell you?" Lorraine asked him.

"Matt you don't have to leave. Stay here. I need a witness for when your mother kills me." Vinny said to him.

"Sorry dad but, I always listen to mom when she has that look on her face." Matt said to him as he walked out of the kitchen.

"Vinny why would you tell Matt something like that?" Lorraine asked him.

"Because it's true." Vinny replied.

"I never lied about my age." Lorraine told him.

"Yes you did." Vinny said to her.

"When?" Lorraine asked her.

"Last month when we went to go visit your sister Nora." Vinny told her.

"No, I didn't." Lorraine told him.

"You lied to that college guy." Vinny said to her.

"I didn't lie to him." Lorraine said to him.

"He asked you if you were twenty one." Vinny told her.

"I didn't tell him I was." Lorraine told him.

"You told him you were twenty two." Vinny told her with a smile on his face.

"That was only one time." Lorraine told him.

"So, I was right all women lie about their age." Vinny told her.

"And you're proud of yourself for actually being right for once?" Lorraine asked him.

"I was right more then once in my life." Vinny told her.

"When was the other time?" Lorraine then asked him.

"When I told Joey and Tony you were the one for me after our first date." Vinny told her.

"So, you were right only twice in your life." Lorraine said to him.

"And marrying you was the best decision I ever made." Vinny told her.

"You are such a sweet talker." Lorraine said to him.

They kiss. Brian comes down the stairs and starts to act like he's gaging.

"Every time." Vinny said to Lorraine.

"You wanted kids." Lorraine said to him.

"So did you." Vinny said to her.

"I know. And I'm glad we had five amazing kids." Lorraine said to him.

"So, how many kids did you guys want?" Brian asked them.

"I wanted eight. But, your father only wanted three." Lorraine told him.

"So, we subtracted three from eight and came up with the number five." Vinny told him sarcastically.

"That's real funny dad. Forgive me for not laughing. I'm still trying to get that image of you and mom kissing out of my head." Brian told him.

"But, it's all right if you and your girlfriend start kissing?" Vinny asked him.

"That's different. You two are married." Brian told him.

"How's that different?" Vinny asked him.

"Me and my girlfriend could break up at any minute. You two have been together for 18 years." Brian replied.

"We've been married for 18 years. We've been together for 19 years." Vinny told him.

"Whatever dude." Brian said to him as he went back upstairs.

"That kid reminds me so much of your brother Jake. Sometimes I wonder if him and David were switched at birth." Vinny said to Lorraine.

"You shouldn't say that." Lorraine told him.

"I'm just stating the obvious." Vinny said to her.

"Vinny he's your son." Lorraine told him.

"I know he is. But, then there are other times I wonder about that kid." Vinny told her.

"I can't believe you would say such a thing about your son." Lorraine told him.

Brian heard every word while he was sitting on the top of the stairs.


	13. Brian's Gone

Chapter 13: Brian's Gone

After hearing what his dad said about him Brian decides to run away. He gets his skate stuff and climbs out his window.

"I'm going to go down to the park with Mich I'll see if Brian wants to go." Vinny told Lorraine as he went upstairs.

Vinny walks into Brian's room and sees that no one is in there.He then sees that Brian's window is opened and his skate gear was missing.

"You have got to be kidding me." Vinny said as he left Brian's room.

"Is Brian going with you to the park?" Lorraine asked Vinny as he came downstairs.

"Funny thing happened when I went up there to ask him that question. I opened his door and he wasn't in his room." Vinny told her.

"Where was he then?" Lorraine asked him.

"Here's the funny part. His window was opened and his skate gear was missing." Vinny told her.

"That's not funny. Brian ran away. He must of heard what you said." Lorraine told him.

"I came to that conclusion also." Vinny told her.

"We have to find him." Lorraine told him.

"I'll call Jake. Maybe Brian is at his house." Vinny said to her.

Vinny calls Jake. "Hey Jake. It's Vinny. Brian's missing is he at your house? He isn't. I might of said something. I told Lorraine that sometimes I wonder if Brian and David were swicthed at birth. I know that was a stupid thing to do. I know it was even stupider then the time I blew up the grill at Charlie and Ann's wedding. Thanks bro." Vinny said as he hung up the phone.

"Is he at Jake's house?" Lorraine asked him.

"No." Vinny replied.

"Then where is he?" Lorraine then asked him.

"I don't know." Vinny told her.

"We need to go out and find him." Lorraine said to him.

"I'll go ahead. You call Sarah and see if she has seen him." Vinny told her as he went to go look for Brian.

"Sarah. It's Lorraine. Vinny did something really stupid this time. You have a list of all the stupid things he did? He said that sometimes he wondered if Brian and David were switched at birth. He did say that. I'm serious he did. Brian heard it and now he isn't here and his skate gear is missing. Have you seen him? You haven't. Okay thanks." Lorraine said to Sarah as she hung up the phone.

Vinny calls Brian's cell phone. Brian sees that it's Vinny and doesn't answer it. After about five times Brian turns off his cell phone. Vinny goes to the park to look for Brain. Brian isn't in the park.

Jake then goes to the park with David to also look for Brian when he sees Vinny there.

"No luck?" Jake asked him.

"None." Vinny said to him.

"Do you know where else he could be?" David asked him.

"I checked everywhere. The school yard, the park, the ice cream shop, the pizza place. I looked everywhere but, I can't find him." Vinny explained to them.

"Did you check the skate park?" Jake asked him.

"Why would he be there?" Vinny then asked him.

"That's where he always hang out." Jake told him.

"I'll go check there. Thanks Jake." Vinny said to Jake as he got back into his Z.

Vinny starts his car and heads off to the skate park.

Sorry it's shorter then my other chapters. I'll update soon.


	14. Father Knows Less

I don't own any of the Barones in this chapter.

Chapter 14: Father Knows Less

Vinny drives to the skate park and sees Brian sitting on the bench putting his gear on about to go skate. Vinny walks over to him.

"Hey Bri. You mind if I sit down?" Vinny asked him.

"It's a free country." Brian told him.

"What I said before was really stupid." Vinny said to him.

"I know it was." Brian said to him.

"I'm sorry for saying that." Vinny told him.

"It's no big deal. I sometimes wonder if me and David were switched at birth also but, I never say it outloud." Brian told him.

"Again I apologize for that." Vinny told him again.

"Again no big deal." Brian told him again.

"Then why did you run away?" Vinny asked him.

"I wanted to get out of the house for a while." Brian told him.

"You know you're grounded." Vinny reminded him.

"I just needed to get out of the house all right." Brian told him.

"I understand that. Our house can get pretty hectic at times. And with you being the middle child it gets hard at times. You know Danny and Kate are the oldest. Marie is the youngest girl in the house and Matt is the baby of the family. And you get left out at times." Vinny explained to him.

"Especially with you." Brian said to him.

"I know that after your Uncle Jake taught you how to skateboard we seemed to drift apart. You did your thing and I did mine." Vinny told him.

"It feels like you hate me becasue I skateboard." Brian told him.

"I don't hate you. We just go at each other every now and then." Vinny told him.

"I get this feeling like you don't care about me." Brian told him.

"If I didn't care about you why would I be at a skate park looking for you?" Vinny asked him.

"That's true." Brian said to him.

"I'll tell you what, if you come home right now I'll take a week off your punishment." Vinny said to him.

"Whose car did you bring?" Brian asked him.

"Mine." Vinny replied.

"Which one?" Brian then asked him.

"The best car ever. My Z." Vinny told him.

"If you cancel my punishment all together I'll get in that car and go home." Brian told him.

"Deal." Vinny said to him.

"Cool. We'll leave right after I do some skateboarding." Brian told Vinny as he got up from the bench to skateboard.

"That wasn't part of the deal Bri. Bri are you even listening to me? It's like I'm talking to a brick wall at times." Vinny said to Brian as he skated off.

After an hour and a half of Brian skateboarding they finally leave the skate park.

"So, what do you want for dinner?" Vinny asked him.

"Anything as long as you cook it." Brian told him.

"What if your mother cooks it?" Vinny asked him.

"Then I'm not eating anything tonight. Remember the last you let mom cook?" Brian asked him.

"The pasta sauce was so burnt it turned black. The spaghetti crunched. And the garlic bread was still cold in the middle." Vinny said to him with a laugh.

"Dad never let mom cook ever again. If you do make sure you leave her instructions." Brian told him with a laugh.

"What do you guys do when I'm on one of my business trips?" Vinny asked him.

"We have the the chinese take out place and the pizzeria on speed dial. And we have grandma across the street." Brian said to him.

"Imagine if we lived on Staten Island. Who would cook for you guys when I was away?" Vinny asked him.

"Your Aunt Marie could of come over." Brian replied.

"She died the year before your sister Marie was born. What now?" Vinny then asked him.

"Ray's wife could of came over." Brian said to him.

Vinny breaks out in hysterics after hearing that. "She's almost as bad as your mother." Vinny told him still laughing.

"Are you serious?" Brian then asked him.

"I said almost. Debra could actually cook a few things. Plus now she has all my Aunt Marie's recipes. Actually that would work now." Vinny said to him not laughing anymore.

"Can you ask your cousin Ray if him and Debra could move to Evanston?" Brian asked him.

"Me and my cousin Ray don't get along that well. If it was my cousin Robert that would be a different story." Vinny told him.

"You and Robert actually get along that's why it would be a different story." Brian said to him.

"Yeah. He was like the older brother I never had and I was like the younger brother he never had." Vinny told him.

"What about Uncle John and Uncle Rick?" Brian asked him.

"I know that they were my actual older brothers but, I didn't get along with them as well as I did with Robert." Vinny explained.

"I also thought Ray was Roberts brother?" Brian then asked him.

"He doesn't get along with Ray as well as he got along with me." Vinny then told him.

"Dad why did you hang Bill Murtaugh upside down from a tree?" Brian then asked him.

"I forget why." Vinny told him.

"No you didn't." Brian said to him.

"Yes I did." Vinny said to him.

"No you didn't." Brian said to him again.

"Yes I did." Vinny told him again.

"No you didn't times ten." Brian told him.

"Yes I did times infinity." Vinny said to him.

Vinny then sticks his tongue out at Brian.

"You're worse then Matt." Brian told him laughing.

"Where do you think he gets it from? Certainly not your mother who's a stick in the mud." Vinny told him.

"And you tell me to grow up." Brian said to him.

"I can do that." Vinny said to him.

"Why?" Brian then asked him.

"I'm your father that's why. So, there." Vinny then told him.

"I feel like I'm the smart one in the car for once." Brian said to Vinny sarcastically.

"You probably are. I couldn't even help Danny with his math homework the other night." Vinny told him.

"Algebra's easy." Brian told him.

"Well that means I know less then you. I'll send Danny to you next time he wants help with his math homework." Vinny told him.

"I don't think Danny wants his younger brother to help him with his homework." Brian told him.

"I really don't care. If you can help him bring that grade up in math, you're helping him." Vinny told him.

"School's over in two weeks." Brian told him.

"That's right. And you're graduating this year form junior high." Vinny said to him.

"Dad don't make me wear a dress shirt with a tie under my gown." Brian pleaded with him.

"But, your mother wants you to wear a shirt and tie under your gown." Vinny replied.

"Dad please talk to her." Brian pleaded with him again.

"I'll see what I can do." Vinny told him.

"You're the coolest dad ever." Brian said to him.

"Tell me something I don't know." Vinny then said to him.

They get back home and go inside the house. Vinny talks to Lorraine and Brian has to wear a dress shirt with a tie under his gown.


	15. Brian's Graduation

Chapter 15: Brian's Graduation.

It's Brian's junior high graduation. Lorraine is telling him that has to wear a dress shirt with a tie under his gown.

"Brian you have to wear a dress shirt with a tie under your gown." Lorraine told him.

"I'm not wearing a shirt and tie under my gown. I'm going to wear a plain shirt. I'll wear jeans like you wanted me to but, that's it." Brian then said to her.

"You're wearing a shirt and tie." Lorraine then told him.

"Dad!" Brian yelled from his room.

Vinny goes up to Brian's room. And walks into his room.

"Could you talk to your wife and tell her that I'm not wearing a shirt and tie?" Brian asked him.

"Vinny tell him he has to wear a shirt and tie." Lorraine then told Vinny.

"I'm getting too old for this shit." Vinny told them. (A great line from all the Lethal Weapon movies.)

"Dad please tell mom not to make me wear a shirt and tie?" Brian asked him again.

"Lorraine I didn't wear a shirt and tie to my junior high graduation." Vinny told her.

"See dad didn't wear a shirt and tie so I shouldn't have to either." Brian said to her.

"Then what did you wear?" Lorraine asked him.

"A plain shirt with shorts and sneakers." Vinny told her.

"And you were wondering if you were my father?" Brian asked him.

"Well we do have the same taste in clothing. We like to wear stuff that we're comfortable in." Vinny told him.

"Thank you dad." Brian said to him.

"Fine wear whatever you want. Don't listen to me I'm just a fashion guru and got an internship with Allure Magagzine. And just so you know you're wearing a shirt and tie to your high school graduation." Lorraine said to them as she left the room.

"Don't worry Bri. I didn't wear a shirt and tie to my high school graduation either." Vinny told him.

"What did you wear?" Brian asked him.

"An AC/DC shirt with shorts and sneakers." Vinny told him.

"Figures." Brian said to him.

"Get dressed for your graduation and be down in ten minutes." Vinny told him as he left the room.

Brian puts on a plain grey t shirt, jeans and sneakers. He comes downstairs. Lorraine looks at him and sighs.Vinny then comes downstairs with a grey t shirt on with jeans and a pair of sneakers.

"Are you two kidding me?" Lorraine asked them as she saw them.

"Holy Crap." Vinny said as he saw what Brian was wearing.

"You two planned this." Lorraine told them.

"I'll go change." Vinny told her.

Vinny then comes down with a nice white polo on with jeans and a pair of sneakers.

"What happened to all your suit jackets and suit pants?" Lorraine asked him.

"It's too damn hot to wear that crap." Vinny told her.

"Let's just go to Brian's graduation before he's late." Lorraine told him.

"Fine by me. Me and Matt will take the Z." Vinny said to her.

"All right." Matt said in excitement.

"Whatever just don't be late." Lorraine told them as she Danny, Kate D and Brian took her car.

"One quick stop for ice cream?" Vinny asked Matt.

"What else would we stop for?" Matt asked him.

"Let's go." Vinny said to him as they walked out the door.

Vinny and Matt make it in time.

"What happened to you two?" Sarah asked him.

"None of your business." Vinny said to him.

"It was ice cream again wasn't it?" Tom asked him.

"Maybe." Vinny replied.

"And you didn't bring any for me?" Jake asked him.

"It would of melted by the time we got here." Vinny told him.

"They have things called an ice cream cup." Jake said to him.

"They do?" Vinny asked him sarcastically.

"I hate you." Jake said to him jokingly.

Brian's name is called and he gets his diploma. Sarah,Mark, Jake, David, Kate D, Danny, Matt, Lorraine, Kate B, Tom and Vinny stand up and applaud him.

At the DiMiranda household Vinny is holding a graduation party for Brian.

"This is some party Vinny." Sarah said to him.

"Thanks." Vinny replied.

"Food is decent." Sarah said to him.

"The food is excellent. I made it." Vinny told her.

"It taste like Lorraine made it." Sarah then told him.

"How dare you." Vinny said to her sarcastically.

"Oh I dare." Sarah told him with a laugh.

"You want some more of this baked ziti?" Vinny asked her.

"Sounds good." Sarah said to him as she took some more.

"Hey dad come here a minute?" Brian asked him.

"That's my cue to become Superdad." Vinny told Sarah sarcastically.

Vinny walks over to Brian and David.

"What are you two up to?" Vinny asked them.

"Nothing." They replied at the same time to him.

"Don't even think it." Vinny warned them.

"Think about what?" Brian asked him.

"Getting your water guns and starting a water gun fight." Vinny explained to them.

"How do you always know?" David asked him.

"Hello? You're talking to the guy who pulled a thousand pranks in his life. And trust me they were ten times better then anything you two can come up with." Vinny told them.

"Dad you don't even know me anymore." Brian said to him a trying to act innocent.

"That's the problem I do know you. And you will do anything to get your mother angry." Vinny told him.

"I hate it when you're a few steps ahead of me." Brian said to him as he and David walked away.

Vinny just laughs to himself.

"Dad can I go inside it's boring out here?" Matt asked him.

"I'll make things more interesting." Vinny said to him.

Vinny picks up a roll and chucks it at the back of Sarah's head.

"Who threw that!" Sarah yelled as it hit the back of her head.

"It was Jake." Vinny told her.

Sarah throws potato salad at Jake.

"I didn't throw anything at you." Jake told her wiping the potato salad off himself.

"Vinny!" Sarah yelled as she ran after him.

Jake then throws a handful of ziti at Mark for laughing at him.

"Jake come on!" Mark yelled at him.

"Jake why did you throw ziti at your brother?" Tom asked him.

Tom then gets hit in the face with some ice cream.

"Very funny Vinny." Tom told him wiping the ice cream off his face.

"I thought it was." Vinny told him.

Sarah pours punch on Vinny.

"It was starting to get hot out and I needed to cool down. So, thanks for that." Vinny told her sarcastically drenched in punch.

"Anytime." Sarah told him.

Brian then throws food at Danny. And a food fight starts. Food is flying everywhere.

"All we need are your relatives and it would be like our wedding all over again." Lorraine told Vinny.

"No it wouldn't." Vinny told her.

He then gets mud on her shirt. "Now it's like our wedding all over again." He told her.

"You are so juvenile." Lorraine said to him as she pushed him.

Vinny loses his balance grabs Lorraine and they fall into the pool together.


	16. Summer Vacation

Chapter 16: Summer Vacation

After the party and after Vinny and Lorraine have dried off. They go downstairs. Matt is watching an old video.

"What are you watching?" Vinny asked him.

"The video ofthe last time we went to Lake Winnetka." Matt replied.

"What was that four years ago?" Lorraine asked Vinny.

"Yeah it was." Vinny told her.

"Let's go back." Lorraine said to Vinny.

"I thought we were going to Miami Beach this year?" Vinny asked her.

"We always go to Miami Beach." Matt told him.

"You really want to go back to the lake?" Vinny asked them.

"Yeah." Lorraine and Matt answered at the same time.

"Let's see where everyone else wants to go." Vinny told them.

Vinny calls down Danny, Kate and Brian. They go to the stairs.

"Do you guys want to go to the lake this year or.." Vinny started to say.

"The lake." Danny, Kate and Brian said before Vinny could finish.

"I'll go to the lake." Sarah said to him.

"How did the hell did you get in?" Vinny asked her.

"Your back door was opened." Sarah replied.

"I need to lock that back door now." Vinny told Lorraine.

"She doesn't have to knock. She can just walk in. I gave her permission." Lorraine told him.

"Not if I lock both doors." Vinny told her.

"Lorraine gave me a key to your front door." Sarah told him.

"You gave her a key without even asking me?" Vinny asked Lorraine.

"I also gave Jake, Mark and my parents keys to this house." Lorraine told him.

"Why?" Vinny asked her.

"In case the kids forget their keys and no one is home." Lorraine told him.

"Whatever." Vinny replied.

Jake and David walk through the back door. "You know your front door is locked?" Jake asked Vinny.

"It was locked for a reason Jake." Vinny replied.

"Everyone is home. Why would you lock your front door?" Jake thenasked him.

"To keep people that I don't like out." Vinny told him.

"So, why is Sarah in here?" Jake then asked him.

"She came in through the back door also." Brian told him.

"Jake we're going back to the lake this year. You and David in?" Sarah asked him.

"Yeah. We'll go to the lake." Jake said to her.

"I love the way your family just invites themselves on our vacation." Vinny told Lorraine.

"Sarah, Jake and David you guys are invited to join us on our vacation to the lake this year." Lorraine said to them.

"They're not spending the vacation in our cabin. They can use your dads cabin." Vinny told her.

"Fine." Sarah said to Vinny.

Jake, David and Sarah leave.

"I just got off the phone with Nora and she said that her, Bud and Nicole would be glad to join us on our vacation. And my godson Tom said he will join us also." Lorraine told Vinny.

"Your godson? The one who plays middle linebacker for Ohio State that godson?" Vinny asked her.

"Yeah." Lorraine replied.

"That's going to be fun." Vinny told her.

"They said that they're staying at Charlie and Ann's house." Lorraine then said to him.

"Even your godson?" Vinny asked her.

"Even Tom." Lorraine told him.

"Jake just called me. He said that Mike is coming to the lake also." Vinny said to her.

"That's great." Lorraine told him.

"I don't mind everyone else being there but, Jake and Sarah are going to be a pain." Vinny told her.

"They will not." Lorraine told him.

"I'll let Mike stay with us because we haven't seen him in four months and because I actually like Mike." Vinny said to her.

"Vinny, you and Mike are like brothers." Lorraine said to him.

"He's the little brother I never had." Vinny told her.

"What about my other younger brothers?" Lorraine asked him.

"Mike doesn't annoy me like Jake. And he actually has a conversation with me for more then five minutes unlike your other brothers." Vinny told her.

"You talk to Charlie for more then five minutes." Lorraine told him.

"We talk football that's different. We actually have somethings in common. We're both former athletes and we both are great dads." Vinny told her.

"Jake is a great dad." Lorraine told him.

"I'll give you that one. He is doing well for a single parent." Vinny told her.

"David is a great kid." Lorraine told him.

"And our kids aren't?" Vinny then asked her.

"We have great kids also." Lorraine then told him.

"Our kids are great because we're a great tag team. And David is a great kid because I'm a great uncle." Vinny told her.

"You are a great uncle but, it's also because of Jake." Lorraine then told him.

"I know. I was just joking." Vinny told her.

Lorraine kisses Vinny and looks upstairs.

"The game's on." Vinny told her.

"Fine then I'm going to bed all alone." Lorraine told him as she went up the stairs.

Vinny looks at the TV then he looks at Lorraine going up the stairs.

"Commerical!" Vinny yelled as he ran after Lorraine up the stairs.

The End


End file.
